Have A Heavenly Day!

It's Wednesday and time for Hump Day Humor at Mercedes Rocks. Her topic this week is Heaven/Heavenly.
Here's what I've got - hope it makes you smile!

(oh, by the way - did you know that if you get stuck in a phone answering "menu", you can get a real person to answer by refusing to do anything but repeatedly pushing O for Operator? But I'm not sure that will work for Heaven....)

here's my humor...

Heavenly Voice Mail

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security number followed by the pound sign.

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3:16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.


To read more Heavenly Humor - visit Mercedes Rocks by Clicking Here

Midlife Women - What they really want

By: Barbara C. Phillips, NP

Over 40 million women are entering the second half of their lives and what they really want is not what many people think. It’s not about the gray hair, a few wrinkles or even hitting the big 5-0.

The recent media coverage about women and aging, has hopefully opened eyes to what midlife and older women really want. So often, society looks at midlife as just being that – midlife, menopause, empty nest, gray hair and wrinkles. Yet, to women it’s so much more.

We have been asking women about their views and stories regarding positive and successful aging experiences. Not only have they shared their wonderfully delightful stories, they have also revealed their hopes, expectations and goals for the second half of their lives.

These stories tell of women looking forward to this time of their life as a time of renewal, of exploring new areas of interest and of the “freedom to be whole and who I really want to be”. Women speak of lessons learned, wisdom granted, and the ability to look ahead to accepting new challenges. Many of these women actually look forward to growing older and to the gifts that come with age.

What about you? What do you really want? This is not as easy of a question as it appears. Ask your self some questions and record your answers in your journal. Visit it often and see what presents itself to you.

Here are some questions to consider.

*Name 3-5 things you have accomplished in your life. These are things you are most proud of. What are they?

*Name your strengths. What are at least 5 positive qualities that you have? Any special talents or particular areas you are strong in?

*What are the things that get you up every morning? What are you passions? What makes your toes tingle and your soul quicken?

*What is really important to you? If you were at the end of your life, what would you need to have accomplished so that you have no regrets about anything?

*With the above questions answered, action do you need to take so that the second half of your life is truly extraordinary?

Answering these questions will help you find your passions, priorities and your life’s purpose. It’s time to start living it.

Article by:
©2005, OlderWiserWomen, LLC Barbara C. Phillips, Nurse Practitioner and founder of OlderWiserWomen(tm) inspires women to embrace the freedom, magic and wisdom of Successful Aging. Visit www.OlderWiserWomen.com for your copy of "Celebrating You: 50 Tips for Vibrant Living".

We saw a opossum...

We saw a opossum out back tonight.
For some reason, opossums make us laugh out loud. This opossum looked like it was considering rushing the steps where we sat (why? bent on some opossum mayhem, I suppose.)We started getting into position to run away from the potential opossum attack and that made us laugh even more.
When we came back in, I googled opossums(of course)and looked up the meaning of opossums in my Animal Guides and Totems book.

The book had this to say about opossums:

The opossum is a crafty animal that shows us how to play different roles. It knows when to act, when to hide, and when to show its true colors. Opossum is a master at recognizing truth as well as falsehood. When it wants attention it gets it. When it wants to be left alone it plays dead. It is a strategic animal that knows how to mold each situation according to its needs. It has the ability to decode hidden messages and read between the lines.

A supreme actor, the opossum can be aggressive or submissive depending on the situation. The opossum knows that each situation has commonalities as well as differences and reflects on them carefully before it responds. This links the opossum to the energies of practicality and ingenuity.

Always full of surprises and unpredictable opossums are masters at playing dead. When the time is right they can suddenly spring back to life. Playing dead is a self induced state in which the heartbeat actually slows and the pulse becomes minimal. This ability serves to confuse many predators giving the opossum an escape from life threatening situations.

Opossums are nocturnal and raise their young in a pouch on their mid section. The young are born blind and rely on their feelings to guide them to their destination. They learn to sense their way around at an early age developing strong instincts by the time they reach adulthood. These instincts are complimented by their inherent ability to disguise themselves. The opossum is a multi-faceted actor that continually changes its appearance. It does not allow its emotions to consume its actions and partakes in the game of life with strategic maneuvers. Part of what the opossum teaches to those with this totem is emotional and mental stability.

The opossum is a craftsman in the art of appearances. When it appears in your life it is telling you to wake up and pay attention. Things are not what they seem to be. By observing your actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings, deeper insights emerge. This emergence leads to self-empowerment. Congratulations and welcome home!

Yokay.....

But then I found this -
a link to a sermon about opossums and the random events of existence. I liked it.
(but my Dad would want to know how you can all of this out of a opossum showing up in the yard? They do it all the time... I tried to tell him I saw a badger once. I was wrong. It was a skunk)
Anyway, here's the link to the sermon

I think I'll try to make this opossum my friend.
Did you know you can buy pet opossums online? You can. I won't give that link. Buying a pet opossum is just wrong...

But if you happen to already have a pet opossum? Here's a link on how to give a opossum a bath.

Do you want to hear (read) a opossum joke?

Two vultures get on an airplane,each of them carrying one dead possum under each wing. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentleman, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

I love living in this place...

Thursday Thirteen - 13 thirteeners I've visited and commented on (so far)

1. Our Happy Happenings posted 13 projects she’s done with her daughter from her Crafts-n-Things blog
http://ourhappyhappenings.com/2008/07/thursday-thirteen-23/

2. Lilibeth at Keeping Up has 13 pictures of the vacation Bible school that she’s doing right now.
http://keepingup-lilibeth.blogspot.com/2008/07/philippian-vbs.html

3. Pink Flamingo has 13 Way Too Cute animal videos
http://thepinkflamingo.blogharbor.com/blog/_archives/2008/7/30/3814345.html

4. One Gal’s Musings has a list of the 13 most influential first ladies. (Mom, you’ll like this one…)
http://onegalsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/07/thursday-thirteen-79-remembering-ladies.html

5. Tale of a Kansas Girl gave us 13 things that have crossed her mind this week , along with a couple of good links to follow
http://taleofakansasgirl.blogspot.com/2008/07/thirteen-things-that-have-crossed-my.html

6. Ben at What’s Cooking has 13 things to consider before deciding to buy organic
http://whatscooking.us/2008/07/30/organic-or-not-13-things-to-consider/

7. Sandy Carlson at Writing in Faith offers a commentary on graffiti and some very moving examples of this art.
http://slchome.blogspot.com/2008/07/thursday-thirteen-44-graffiti_30.html

8. Tinkerbell left a list of 13 of her blog posts that are without comments. I’m going back to read them – each and every one!
http://tinkerbell-nl.blogspot.com/2008/07/tt-86-posts-without-comments.html

9. At Around the Island, they’re busy packing for a month long trip to the US.
And one of the children is having a reaction to a prescription for penicillin.
God bless ‘em.
http://aroundtheisland.blogspot.com/

10. Many Little Blessing gives 13 reasons to garden with your children
http://randomangie.blogspot.com/2008/07/13-benefits-of-having-family-garden-for.html

11. The Homeschool Classroom lists 13 reasons why she enjoys homeschooling.
http://thehomeschoolclassroom.blogspot.com/2008/07/thirteen-things-i-enjoy-about.html

12. Sarah at My Fickle Birthday Blog has 13 reasons why we should send her a birthday gift. I think we should!
http://www.myficklemind.com/birthdayblog/?p=16

13. And Claudia – Out on a Limb has shared her knitting and her yarnish compulsion!
http://www.on-a-limb.com/2008/07/30/thursday-thirteen-my-yarnish-compulsion/

Visit more Thursday Thirteeners by Clicking Here

It's All About Choices

Today's topic at the Meme Express is Choice. It begins with this quote from George Eliot:

“The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.”

I'll participate with some favorite quotes of my own:

"And in life, it is all about choices we make.
And how the direction of our lives comes down to the choices we choose."
Catherine Pulsifer

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."
Judith M. Knowlton

"Every choice you make has an end result."
Zig Ziglar

"The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude."
Charles Swindoll

"What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life."
Leo Buscaglia

"It is always your next move."
Napoleon Hill

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Victor Frankl

Sunday Scripture - A Parent's Prayer

Because there is a new child, because my sister has inspired me to make new prayer beads, because it is is National Parents Day -

A Parent's Prayer

They're only little once.

Grant me the wisdom to guide them down the path that their feet should take - for I know that they can never turn back and walk those paths with me again.

Give me the wisdom to guide their feet
so that someday they'll be able to walk alone.

They're only little once.

Give me the time I need to enjoy them - for I know that after they're grown, I'll never have another chance to tell stories and pretend at those tea parties.

I'll never have another chance to watch them in a school play or sing in church, or to see them catch that first fish or score that first goal or hit that first home run ball.

Give me the time in life's busy schedule
to have fun with my children.

They're only little once.

Let me be a loving parent.
Let me correct and not just punish, explain and not merely scold.
Let me know when to correct, and how often, and when it's best to just look the other way.

Help me be patient and give me a gentle hand to mould them into better people.

They're only little once.

Let me be a good teacher and an even better example.
Give me the right words and deeds to teach them.

Help me to teach them about You and how to walk with You, so that when they are old they will not depart from Your ways.

For they're only little one time,
only innocent and trusting and pliable for a space of time,
one minute in an eternity.

Let me do my best for them while I have the chance.

Amen

Author Unknown

read other bloggers on Parents Day here at Meme Express

Saturday - showing up on the page

If I kept the batteries in my camera (instead of in the recharger until I need them, which I think I read somewhere can cause a house fire. Or maybe I saw it on Judge Judy?) Anyway,
If I kept the batteries in my camera, I could have captured some special moments over the past couple of days.

- a fox that walked quickly across the yard while I was sitting on the back steps. He kept his head turned to look at me while he walked straight ahead to the woods on the other side.

- a small bird that likes to sit in the new tree that appeared one day, courtesy of the apartment complex landscapers, right outside the kitchen window. I don't know why the bird has chosen this sudden tree to be her vantage point. I hear her and see her there often.

- a bunny that looks too little to be out on his own, nibbling clover just outside the safety of the briar patch where Maya picks her blackberries.

- Maya at the park today.
We went hiking on the woods trails early this morning - a little before nine. I felt a few moments of anxiety as we went further into the woods. No one else was in the park that early. We were getting further from the car. I'm not accustomed to hiking without a dog. I'm not familiar enough with this area to know where the "rough spots" might be. Then reason prevailed. Would a group of rowdy youth bent on crime really wake up early on a Saturday morning and devise a plot to pounce upon unsuspecting grandmothers walking down woodland paths at 9:00AM? Why? And on an average Saturday - since I was the only one there and this was my first time there - how successful would this plot be? I think rowdy youths and other ne'er-do-wells have much more interesting crimes to commit and they probably commit them much later in the day. We walked on, unaccosted.

Maya went wading in the stream. We had a snack of cheese and crackers and lemonade at the picnic table. Other children began to arrive and Maya joined them on the play scape.

So many moments, movements, feelings - all of them could have been caught by my camera and kept to look at again.
The next ones will be. The batteries are in the camera now.